Friday, January 20, 2006
A peek at an Olympic training camp
"Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, at the training camp of Mary de B, aspiring Olympian. She's going to be trying for the gold in the chunky wool vest category, she's got her needles and she's got a bit to show for her training, but there's plenty of work to be done. She will be using a simple pattern with a few yarn overs, that she likes to call lace."
"That's not lace, Bob, that's just a 13-stitch, 2-row pattern with a few yarn overs. Shouldn't strain any muscles on that!"
"Well, Dick, I hear she's got other commitments around the time of the Olympics, and I'm sure there'll be enough challenges for her here. I mean, a vest isn't just a piece of straight knitting! There has to be some armhole shaping and a neckline, you know. She'll have to line those yarn overs up so the side seams don't look all wonky! And of course, the event's not over till things like buttonholes are made and buttons attached!"
"You're right, Bob. Let's talk to the athlete herself! Mary, how are you feeling about this upcoming event?"
"Oh, Bob, it's going to be great. I've got all these great balls of yarn, see, and I'm really feeling confident on the lace part: Knit 1, yarn over, knit 4, knit two together, slip slip knit, knit 4, yarn over, knit one, yarn over, knit 4..."
"Yes, Mary, that is great... Although some would argue about your definition of lace, I think. And I'm sure you're getting sorted on the armhole shaping and buttons and so on, too!"
"Um, armholes... Yes, I guess you can't really do a drop-shoulder vest, can you? I'll get right on that, Bob."
"Could we get a look at your buttons? I guess that's a challenging part of the training process, picking your buttons!"
"Oh, Bob, um, I think I just have to sit down a minute... Knit one, yarn over, knit four.... buttons... armholes... Knit 4, yarn over, where was I....."
"Dick, I think we overwhelmed her with that last question. Open the window to give her a little air.... (Psst, I've got a fiver that says she'll turn it into a pullover vest!"
"Are you kidding, it'll be a baby blanket before long!")
"Ahem, yes, folks, that's how it is here at training camp. We'll check in in a few days and see if Mary's got her wind again."